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Post by donato nicolas of spain on Oct 1, 2011 23:39:42 GMT -5
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[right]INSERT DATE HERE[/right]
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entry here.
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[left][font=georgia][size=5]dante[/size][/font][/left]
[center][color=3A66A7]JACK[/color] from [URL=http://z10.invisionfree.com/CAUTIONTOTHEWIND/index.php?showuser=10578]caution 2.0[/URL] and of [url=jackdesigns.proboards.com]JACK'S DESIGNS[/URL] made this gorgeous template. He worked hard, so leave the credit on, bitch.[/center] |
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Post by donato nicolas of spain on Oct 5, 2011 23:22:55 GMT -5
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-------------------------------------------------------- JUNE TWENTY-NINTH TWOTHOUSANDELEVEN
my mom wants me to start keeping a journal. as if i am a teenage girl. but i guess if she wants me to do it, maybe there will be a good reason for it in the end?
in either case, i guess i am now the proud owner of a livejournal. whatever the hell that means.
dante |
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Post by donato nicolas of spain on Oct 5, 2011 23:41:54 GMT -5
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-------------------------------------------------------- JULY FOURTH TWOTHOUSANDELEVEN the masquerade ball is this weekend. i fly out to mallorca later today so that i can wait for the guests to start arriving. i asked vivien to come with me early so that we could have a day or two alone. but i don't know yet if she'll be coming today. or if maybe bri will be coming with her, which would just ruin the whole plan. but, i wouldn't blame her if she did come. my mother has been absolutely relentless about the wedding, asking us all ridiculous details about what kind of napkins we want or what color the table cloths should be. i really don't care.
especially since it isn't bri i want to be marrying anyway. maybe if i was being asked questions about my wedding to vivien, i would be more enthusiastic about things like the damn napkin holders. if it wasn't so absolutely unfair to bella, i'd probably ask her to just plan it with my mom.
but at least i have the masquerade. and if i can't announce vivien as my wife, at least i can announce her as my right hand woman. the only problem will be if i have to announce which ally is supposed to be the closest, because there is no way i could pick between vivien, bella and xavier.
dante |
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Post by donato nicolas of spain on Oct 6, 2011 0:03:38 GMT -5
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-------------------------------------------------------- JULY TENTH TWOTHOUSANDELEVEN i can't believe that fucking cunt!
clara seriously threatened me, vivien, the spanish throne and everyone involved with it. just because i stopped fucking her on a regular basis she thinks i'm going to break our agreement. what the fuck is her problem, that's what i want to know. how is my dating vivien any business of hers? and i'll be ruling long before brother will be, so does she really think i would still help her if she exposed us? besides the fact that, i don't even understand why she ever thought i was SERIOUS. as if i would ever help overthrow one of my best friends. even if he is a little bit too naive to be a king.
and i don't even understand what cleo was mad about. she's mad because i didn't fuck her? or something. i really didn't understand anything that she was talking about. i was so mad at clara that i couldn't even hear half of the words coming out of cleo's mouth. but cris really came into his own tonight. coming to warn me about who i was about to make an ally. i should have known what a backstabbing bitch she was when she agreed to our little arrangement. i mean, who tries to knock off their own brother?
and i feel bad. i promised bella no more drugs. well, except pot, since it's not really a drug. but i couldn't take it tonight after the fight in the hall. there was no way i could have gone back in there to make my first speech as future king. i had to do it. just a small white pill and i was calm again.
now i just have to tell vivi and bri how badly i fucked up and how this could ruin spain in the future. fuck.
dante |
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Post by donato nicolas of spain on Oct 6, 2011 0:18:35 GMT -5
d a n t e || n i c o l a s || b o r b o n private.private.private.private
-------------------------------------------------------- JULY TWELFTH TWOTHOUSANDELEVEN
bella left on vacation two days ago. she went to italy, her usual vacation. but it seems like she's been gone so much longer than two days. my mom forced her into going on vacation before the masquerade, so it's like she's been gone since we left school. i miss her. it's been a long time since i've been without her for this long at a time. it normally feels like it's more stretched out. but i guess with nada's engagement party coming up next month, she had to go early this year. or maybe it was fashion week? i don't know, i can't keep up with that crap.
she didn't find out about the xanax, thankfully. i guess because it used to be prescribed and i only took one. or maybe she noticed and just didn't say anything, she's sweet like that. at least if i can't have her i can take care of cosita for the week. that little puppy makes me so happy. i wish i could get one, but it seems kind of lame to buy yourself a puppy.
so i had to tell viv and bri about my little run in with clara.
vivien took it better than i expected her too. although, i sort of feel bad for not telling her the part where i agreed to help oust baste from his rightful spot as heir. but if i tell her now, it will only put her in danger since i highly doubt anyone would believe me when i tell them it as all a joke and that i was only in it for the sex. but in any case, instead of throwing me out of her room as i expected, she had sex with me.
i was definfitely expecting that development to take a whole lot longer. i guess we're officially dating now. i told her i was her boyfriend, but i'm not exactly sure how i'm supposed to properly date her with her sister running around the palace all summer. and vivien is definitely the kind of girl where "sex in the backseat" doesn't constitute as a date.
which, of course, made talking to bri harder. i wish i could just tell both of them the truth, about everything. but i can't tell vivien about sebastien. and i can't tell bri about vivien. it's like one big fuckfest of lies. but at least i can keep my secrets straight. i told bri about the part where i -jokingly- agreed to help throw baste under the bus for vivien and the part where she was threatening to tell if i didn't resume a relationship with her. but she, thankfully, didn't ask why i didn't want to start the relationship back up. i wished i could have told her about vivien. it would have made hiding my happiness easier, since i wouldn't have had to, but she was so calm about the clara thing i didn't want to risk it.
plus, i can't stand hurting her. even though i probably will, eventually. and i can't get past the nagging feeling that she's only sticking with me because i stuck by her when she thought she was pregnant. it's all so fucked up.
dante |
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Post by donato nicolas of spain on Oct 6, 2011 0:28:15 GMT -5
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-------------------------------------------------------- JULY SIXTEENTH TWOTHOUSANDELEVEN
bella comes home tomorrow, i'm so excited. but i'm freaking out at the same time. it's easy to lie to her and tell her i'm fine when she's not here watching me day in and day out. luckily for me, vivi, bri and my family haven't figured out my ticks. they don't know yet when i'm fucked up and when i'm not. it's really like a blessing in disguise.
i know when bella comes back she's going to be on me like white on rice. so i had to sneak into the pharmacy today and refill my outdated xanax prescription. i don't think anyone would notice. and if they do notice, i don't think they'll say anything. i don't think anyone wants to lose their job by not keeping the drugs on lock down. now i just need to think of where to hide it. i think i have a pretty good place, since it's not like even they know about all of my hiding places. i don't even think bella knows about my newest one. right before she left, i rented a little place for vivi and i to disappear to. and she's too innocent to ever go looking for my stash. i'm sure she only thinks i smoke pot.
dante |
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Post by donato nicolas of spain on Oct 6, 2011 0:47:29 GMT -5
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-------------------------------------------------------- JULY TWENTIETH TWOTHOUSANDELEVEN
it's three in the morning. i've been banished to my room since yesterday. bella comes back later today. i still can't believe i fucking got caught by my fucking mom. i still can't see where i went wrong. i did what i always do. i went down and told her i was sick and asked for some of her amazing tortilla soup. and then i disappeared out the door.
maybe, i didn't go far enough. that's the only thing that i can think of. in any case, i took the first hit and out the door she walks, asking me if i want regular tortillas or colored, like it makes a fucking difference. she grounded me to my room. and she got rid of the only things that i had here. but at least no one knows where the rest of my stash is. but fuck, what i wouldn't give right now for some kind of something. a pill, a smoke or a drink. i just don't understand what's so bad about pot. i guess i'm just lucky the only thing i had in my room was pot, so she doesn't know what else i do. and neither does bella. for now at least.
dante |
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Post by donato nicolas of spain on Dec 9, 2011 21:49:18 GMT -5
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-------------------------------------------------------- AUGUST SEVENTH TWOTHOUSANDELEVEN
nada's engagement party is in a few days. and i couldn't be happier to get away from spain and everything that's been happening here. it's been absolutely a mad house since mom caught me smoking.
and i'm finding that it's harder to get around bella than i thought it would be. my mother relieved her all of her duties. all of them, that is, except babysitting me around the clock. i haven't gotten high in two days. i can't get away from her long enough to smoke unless i take a shower and she's been hurrying me through those since i've been waking up late. and i'm out of pills and can't get away from her long enough to hit the pharmacy. i'm losing my mind. i missed her so fucking much when she left on vacation, but i almost can't wait for everyone to leave for the engagement party so that i can get an hour to myself. somehow i lucked out in having a late engagement and i don't leave for serbia until six hours after everyone else. i think it's going to be heaven.
at least when i get back to school i can have marco pick it up for me and i'll be alone more since bella will have school to focus on.
tonight i have a date with vivi. i think i'm going to tell bella it's an hour earlier so i can sneak off for awhile. i still haven't told vivi or bri everything about the confrontation at the masquerade. and it's eating at me. i need to get high.
dante |
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Post by donato nicolas of spain on Dec 9, 2011 21:57:30 GMT -5
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-------------------------------------------------------- AUGUST ELEVENTH TWOTHOUSANDELEVEN
somehow, i always pictured engagement parties to be really boring and pointless, unless you were a girl, of course. but this one surprised me, it was actually sort of fun.
but the stress of being in the same room, at the same time, as bri and viv was absolutely the most insane thing i have ever been through. when we first returned from the masquerade ball, for the two weeks before bri went home, my mother had all of us scheduled so densely for events and meetings that it wasn't that hard to sneak around. chances were that there were never more than two of us free at any given time.
and then bri, blissfully, went home for the rest of the summer. it's not that i don't like having her around, i do, but i became free to chase after vivien as much as i wanted. and then during the shower, we were all somehow seated at the same table. and the only way i could pull off a dance with vivien was by dancing with every other female at the table, and bri twice as often.
bella hasn't made it back yet. i think she's hanging out with xavier. i wonder how much trouble i would get in if she found me at the bar? because i am in dire need of some scotch, bourbon, tequila, anything- straight up or on the rocks.
dante |
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Post by donato nicolas of spain on Dec 9, 2011 22:00:34 GMT -5
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-------------------------------------------------------- AUGUST SIXTEENTH TWOTHOUSANDELEVEN
i just had to leave vivien until i get back to school. i'm on a plane, on my way to vivien's home, to spend time with bri and her mom before school starts. i'll be leaving saturday, the 20th, so that i can go back to spain and get my own things ready for school. we have to be back by the 26th but i think i'll be going back as early as possible so that i can rearrange my stuff.
i'm really not looking forward to the trip. it will be nice to have a more relaxed schedule and it will be nice to hang out with bri, but i really don't want to talk weddings for four days. it's been hard enough as it is, spending all summer with vivien discussing details of a wedding she and i will never have. but at least it gave us a good excuse to be alone together.
i took her to lunch today, under the guise that we were going out to discuss reception food during the only break in my schedule. and we did actually discuss reception food. but we discussed so much more. and i was so wrapped up in the fact that she is the one i want to be with, that i kissed her right there in public before we went to our separate cars. i don't know what's wrong with me, other than i'm out of xanax. i wish i could have gotten my prescription refilled before i got onto the plane. but i forgot.
i'm so nervous about seeing bri again. the only time i've seen her since she left spain was when i went to nada's engagement party. but then, there were so many other people that it was easy to talk to her. what if she finds out about vivien and i? what if i'm different? i should really just tell her. but how do you purposely break the heart of the woman you're going to spend the rest of your life with? i don't know if i can do it.
dante |
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Post by donato nicolas of spain on Dec 9, 2011 22:06:18 GMT -5
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-------------------------------------------------------- AUGUST EIGHTEENTH TWOTHOUSANDELEVEN
i tried to talk to bri today about emma. but i couldn't get the words out before she was blowing up at me and claiming i treat her like a whore. i don't see how she thinks i'm treating her like a whore by offering her whatever she wants. and she had the audacity to suggest i would bribe her with a car. i meant politically.
i overheard my mother before i left home saying that the marriage contract has yet to be drawn up, so any political requests either of us have could still be included. and she couldn't even wait for me to get the words out.
and if anyone's a whore, it's me. i'm the one who traded secrets, and basically commited treason on my best friend, for a blow job. and i'm the one whose been seducing her innocent sister since the masquerade ball.
like she could ever be the whore. i left all my drugs in spain, but i found some more. it's suprisingly easy to do. and i can't wait for the euphoria of prescription pain medication to take over.
dante |
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Post by donato nicolas of spain on Dec 9, 2011 22:33:08 GMT -5
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-------------------------------------------------------- AUGUST TWENTYSEVENTH TWOTHOUSANDELEVEN
well, i made it back to school. in basically one piece.
but i'm still a little depressed that i haven't seen emma. i didn't really think i would see her, after i left england, but when i'd been getting on the plane to leave, she said she hadn't left spain yet. so when bella and i climbed into the car at the airport, i had been whole heartedly expecting to see vivien and give her a proper goodbye, even if i was only going to see her for a few hours.
unfortunately, her plane left before mine came in.
bella and i managed to get everything ready for school this year in record time. apparently she took advantage of her free time while i was in england to pack up almost all of her stuff for school. so it left the two of us with a completely open schedule to pack mine and fly back to school early. i've been here for a couple of days, and the rest of school had to be back by yeserday.
but i haven't seen either of the twins yet. not that bri and i are really talking after my visit to england.
dante |
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Post by donato nicolas of spain on Dec 9, 2011 22:33:43 GMT -5
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-------------------------------------------------------- SEPTEMBER FOURTH TWOTHOUSANDELEVEN
i just want to make it known that this:
is not up for discussion. and i don't take kindly to people talking about her behind her back.
if you must know it's the infamous playboys fault and i'm the one you should come after.
so STFU already.
dante |
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Post by donato nicolas of spain on Jun 28, 2012 10:54:22 GMT -5
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-------------------------------------------------------- SEPTEMBER SIXTH TWOTHOUSANDELEVEN
bri won't talk to me. it's not as if i really expected her to want to talk to me, immediately. but it's been almost a week and i haven't heard from her. i haven't even seen her, on campus. i wonder if she left? surely if she'd left, emma would have told me? i'm really kind of pissed off about it, because, how am i supposed to make things better if i can't even talk to the person i need to make things better with?
i mean, it's not like i did this all on purpose just to hurt her. in fact, hurting her was the last thing on my mind. it's something i would never want to do, but i manage to do it over and over again anyway. i am a shitty friend.
i refilled my prescription today. again. that's the second time since school started. i don't remember taking that many, though, so i wonder if bella is secretly flushing them down the toilet. then again, i have been studying quite a bit lately and i tend to take them more often when i'm studying a lot, so maybe that's where they went.
i am beginning to think that i may have signed up for way too many classes for this year. but, it's all things that i need. there's no guarantee that i will have time for college, once i graduate, so i have to learn all that i can while i'm here. and, i'm not sure that even bella could help me get accepted. except for the fact that i don't think any university would refuse the future king or queen of any country. hmmm, that's an idea, actually. but with dad so sick, i'm almost positive i'll be ruling before i'm nineteen. at this rate, i wouldn't be surprised if he did the wedding and the coronation in the same month.
it's not that he's getting worse, because, honestly he isn't. but he isn't really getting any better, either. he's stuck in this standstill where as long as he continues treatment, he can function as normal. but he was so tired all the time when we were together this summer. dad has always been a man to stay up into the early hours of the morning and he was going to bed just after dinner, most nights.
i wonder how much cris and the girls know?
dante |
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Post by donato nicolas of spain on Jun 28, 2012 11:02:16 GMT -5
d a n t e || n i c o l a s || b o r b o n private.private.private.private
-------------------------------------------------------- SEPTEMBER TENTH TWOTHOUSANDELEVEN
i bought coke today.
it wasn't the first time, but it's been so long, it was almost like it was. it made me laugh, how easy it was to find the number through a few simple text messages. the summer between third and fourth year, it was definitely harder to find. but, then again, i was traveling and that's not exactly a task i can give to bella. in fact, coming up with fake jobs for her to do was the hardest part of the whole ordeal.
i'm such a liar.
i talked to mama today. she asked me about a thousand and five questions about the wedding and then another four hundred about how i was coming along fixing things with bri. and you know how i love to disappoint. i can't believe that after everything that's happened in the last few days, they still have the audacity to ask about the wedding. i'm not getting married to bri. and the fact that it's obvious to everyone but our respective parents is really irritating.
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