let the world leave me behind [open]

[shideh4]

Starr was going crazy. He couldn't handle going to University, he couldn't handle being a dad. He'd vomited about fifty times in his hotel room and he was sure they were on the verge of throwing him out. He'd come to Serbia for Nada & Theo's wedding but unlike his school friends he never left. He tried, he'd bought the tickets to get back to Greece and sort this mess out. Then he started to think. Nothing could help him now, he'd messed his life up. He was a restless, useless juvenile. He didn't want to go anywhere, he wanted the world to eat him alive. Lying in a hotel room would've never been his ideal end to the Summer or the beginning of the new year but he was afraid. Afraid if he went anywhere, he'd just mess his life up more. His mind was made up he couldn't be a father. He couldn't ignore the fact, what was he to do?

His covers were tangled around his legs. The tv channels constantly changing as he tried to find something in a language he could understand. He hadn't been online, hadn't answered his phone. Hadn't spoken to anyone. Was this what a breakdown felt like? He was set to go to University with Lexi, at the University of Southern California. His chest ached just thinking about it. How could things get better? Lexi was keeping the baby, in spite of him not being ready. There was nothing he could do but watch his life descend now. He heard a knock at the door while he was under his blanket trying to stop tears from squeezing out.He'd succeeded so far. When the knocker became persistent, he threw a pillow at the door.

"Leave me alone! Whoever you are!" he shouted aggressively, hiding his ears with the pillow he had left.

[alexandra]

Lexi had been in Serbia for her cousin Nada's wedding. She was meant to go back that morning but knew she had to talk to Starr. She hadn't seen him since she had told him that she was pregnant. She had been in her hotel room thinking wondering what on earth had happened. Starr had run away when she told him the news and it made her angry and broke her heart a little bit. He was her best friend, servant, boyfriend and the father of her unborn child and he had simply ran away.

She finally decided that before they both went to California together to go to school they had to sit down and talk everything out. With that thought in mind she threw on a pair of sweats and a hoodie and threw her dark hair up into a pony before walking down the hall to Starr's room. She knocked on his door and waited for about a minute before knocking again more insistently. When she heard Starr on the other side of the door yelling at whoever it was to go away she sighed. "Starr! It's Lexi. We need to talk. Let me in please?!" She called nicely praying that he would open the door so the couple could talk.

[shideh4]

"Lexi?" Astarpio frowned, what was she doing here? He'd left her, really left her after the news that she was pregnant. She should've been rid of him by now. As broken as he was, Alexandra was the royal he served. It would be against his duty to refuse her access. Catching his breath, he tossed the covers aside and walked up to the door, opening it slowly and peeping through. "Yes?" he offered her a chance to speak outside the door, though he knew he had to let her in. Starr's room had only been adjacent to Lexi's when he was her servant and they had shared a bed when they were a couple, there really was no room for shyness with this girl.

She was still a beautiful creature with a face and hair like a Greek goddess. He probably looked more like a pimple about to burst. He hadn't wished to harm Lexi in his leaving, but a baby was just too much, too soon. They were at University for Christ's sake. Amongst classes and studying, where did that leave room for a baby? He couldn't talk about it though, he could barely speak to Lexi after what happened. Like his voice pipes had become tightly restricted. He opened the door fully and let her walk in. He sat at the edge on the bed, his elbows resting on his knees.

With a deep breath, he decided to lay all his feelings out there. He took her hands. "I don't string girls along - if I'm dating someone the odds are I'm thinking about lots of things about the future. Whether to marry them, whether they'd make a good wife. I don't want to have to think about whether you'd also be a good mother. Not yet, anyway. It doesn't feel like the right time for a baby." there it was, all his concerns and objections laid out, except one. His hand reached up to caress Lexi's cheek. "I love you" he whispered, pausing whilst gathering his words.

"But being so inexperienced in the field of love, I don't know what my love for you means. Whether it's a friendship, platonic love. Whether it's the real thing." he explained, his eyes looking deeply into her own. "I think we need to see other people, to prove to ourselves that what we have is genuine." his hands tightened around hers. He didn't want her to see this as a bad thing, it was just evaluation time. So they knew it they were really the right people to fit together. He was tired of falling for the wrong person.

"I hope you understand?" his hand still resting on her cheek. He was tempted to kiss her but he knew that wasn't appropriate in the circumstances. He didn't want her to think that he was looking for one last fling or something.

[alexandra]

Lexi let out a sigh of relief when Starr answered the door. She smiled at him sweetly as he peeked out "Can I come in so we can talk?". Lexi looked at the young man in front of her and noticed that he looked confused and scared. She smiled then as he opened the door all the way and she walked on in.

She watched as he sat on the edge of the bed with his hands on his knees. She walked on over and sat down on the bed next to him. She listened as he took a deep breath and began to speak. When he was done she looked at him her eyes filled with sadness and understanding. "I have been hurt in the past and I don't play guys. I don't know what kind of mother I am going to be. I don't want to think about it but I have to.I don't know how I am going to work this out with school and a baby. I am scared Starr, I am scared, confused and uncertain of the future. The only thing I am sure of right now is that I love you too." She looked at him her eyes brimming with tears as she took a deep breath and listened as he continued.

When he finished speaking again she looked at him hurt and confused. "I don't know what kind of love you feel either but I love you in the real and honest way. If seeing other people while we figure us out is the right thing for you then I agree. I will always love you though Starr. I'll be waiting when you are ready if you ever are to come back to me and your unborn child. I am sorry." She sighed with tears now running down her face as she stood back up and looked at the young man sitting on the edge of the bed. The man she loved and lost. With that she walked out of the room without another look back at the young man who had broken her heart.

[beau]

'' take your past and burn it up and let
'' it go , c a r r y on i'm s t r o n g e r than you'll ever know

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Beau was about to go crazy. Marie had only left her room a very few amount of times, and now he found out that Starr was doing the same thing in Serbia! Beau quickly jumped on a plane and headed for Serbia to hopefully get one friend out of their room, he wasn’t as good with Marie because even though they had been best friend since forever, but still he was a guy and she was a girl. Astarpio on the other hand, was another man, so Beau could very much try to relate more to Starr than Marie.

As soon as Beau arrived at the hotel, he hailed a cab and told the driver the hotel that Starr was staying in and sat quietly wondering what could have gotten Starr so upset. Of course there were rumors that Beau had heard, but those could just be rumors. He wasn’t with Aisling as the gossip column had tried saying, no he liked a certain red head who made him smile just at the thought of her. Looking out the window, Beau saw the hotel coming up and got his one bag situated and paid the driver the correct amount of money and quickly jumped out of the cab and walked into the hotel while looking around wondering what room Starr was in. Walking up to the managers desk, Beau cleared his throat to get the managers attention. “Excusez-moi. What room is Astarpio Ytae in? I’m a friend of his and was supposed to be meeting him, though I forgot what room number he is in and my phone is dead.” Beau told a little lie, but he needed to know what room number Starr was in so he could get his friend up and functioning correctly again.

The manager looked at Beau somewhat skeptically, but gave in. “Room 44 sir.”

[/I] He then pointed towards a hallway with a sign saying room 1-50

“Merci.” Beau quickly said before running towards the correct hallway. Running slightly out of breath, Beau knew he had to start running again and not just after his little sisters. Beau noticed a crying Alexandra but let her be, because honestly he did prefer Starr’s company to hers. ’That can’t be good news.’ He though to himself while looking at Alex. Once he reached the correct door, Beau knocked loudly. “Astarpio Ytae, I know you’re in there. It’s Beau let me in… please?” Beau didn’t know how Starr was and didn’t want to force him to let him in, but Beau knew he needed to talk to Starr and hopefully knock some sense into him or at the very least, help him out.
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tagged: Starr
word count: four hundred and forty-five
notes: Beau to the rescue?
outfit: click !
lyrics: ...to be loved - papa roach !
credit:NOTHING_PERSONAL @ CAUTION !

[/size]

[shideh4]

Astarpio frowned as he heard Beau's voice. He hadn't planned on meeting up with the French servant, so it didn't make sense as to why he was there. Especially since they weren't the closest of friends, mere good friends really. 'Good friends' last time Starr defined it didn't mean hanging out in Serbia while Starr tried to stop himself falling into a mental breakdown merged with doses of depression. "I'm growing tired of company today." Starr grumbled. Was he going to have to break up with Beau too? It felt like he was breaking hearts today, like a general mood of pain. As he opened the door he abruptly stated "I'm not talking about anything." because it was abundantly clear by the frames of his frown that he was hurt.

Naturally he hadn't planned that he would spend the day in company so he was at a loss of what to do. His feelings felt like a long, twisted maze. He didn't know what direction to go he only knew that he was lost and there was no visible way out in sight. As he sat down on the bed he remembered Lexi sitting there only minutes before. The whole of her had been shaken by this break-up, which hurt him immensely. He wondered if it was ever a good idea they got together, all he'd done was hurt her. Maybe they were meant to be friends and that was all.

"“I’m really sorry to have messed her about by all this, we should've never become a couple so i could've spared her this hurt.. but I can’t string her along and act like I'm ok with being a father. It wouldn't be right.”

[beau]

'' take your past and burn it up and let
'' it go , c a r r y on i'm s t r o n g e r than you'll ever know

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[/center]

Beau waited for Starr to open the door, and if he said he was expecting Starr to want to talk, he'd be a liar. He knew Starr wasn't going to want to talk, so he had a plan. He would just talk to Starr about random things and then, hopefully, Starr would be ready to talk or at the very least, be able to leave his room. "That's fine. I just needed to get away from Marie. She hasn't left her room all summer except to get more ice cream." He said with a grin. "I leave for Frida's in two days, so I thought maybe we could hang out. I figured you needed a friend, even if you didn't want to talk. A friend who wasn't a girl to be exact."

[/COLOR] Beau didn't know what happened between Starr and Alex, but he had heard the rumors of Alex being pregnant. That would certaintly throw any seventeen year old into a random depression, especially after breaking up with your old girlfriend.

Watching Starr sit down on his bed, Beau took a chair and drug it closer to the bed so it'd be easier to talk and not have to shout across the room to be heard. Starr, to put it nicely, looked like a mess. Beau felt bad for his friend, sure they weren't best friends but they were still friends none the less and Beau, being the over-protective big-borther type, flew two days earlier and decided to spend it with Starr who obviously needed a friend no matter what he said he wanted. Beau had spent all summer trying to get Marie out of her room, but the whole gender difference had really made it difficult. That was not a problem with Starr as both he and Beau were the same gender. Sure, Beau had never had his heart completely broken by a girl, date his royal and then possibly get her pregnant, but he felt it'd be easier to talk with Starr then Marie.

Listening to Starr, Beau nodded his head. "Yeah, probably wasn't the smartest thing to do... but, what's done is done... and whoa, wait did you say father? So the rumor is actually true?" He asked surprised. The rumor blog on Vineheart wasn't always corect, obviously because if it was he'd be crushing on a completely different princess than the one he was actually crushing on. "Well, I guess you just have to help when she needs you and be there for your kid. Even if you two never get back together, just be there for your kid I guess." Beau had never dealt with anything like this, but he was going to try and help his friend.
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tagged: Starr
word count: four hundred and fifty-three
notes: Beau to the rescue?
outfit: click !
lyrics: ...to be loved - papa roach !
credit:NOTHING_PERSONAL @ CAUTION !

[/size]

[shideh4]

Starr sighed, Beau picked now to disturb him. After Lexi had just stormed off. He picked up his hotel phone and when the operator answered he ordered a pizza from the room service menu. He actually wanted to go home to Greece and start University next year. There was no point though, his baby would be born by then. Besides, he hadn't missed all the preliminaries at USC yet, he could easily still register. Odds are he wouldn't be put in a great dorm but considering Lexi's dorm had already been decided he wasn't going to see much of her. He couldn't avoid her forever though. "Look can we not do this now? I'll leave the room and go back to -- somewhere. I don't know where yet." his voice faltered, he had no idea what his next move was yet.

He frowned when Beau mentioned that he was a friend that wasn't a girl. To Astarpio that didn't make any sense, why did it matter whether he talked to a boy or girl? "I can talk to girls without making them my beloved, you know." he snapped, frowning deeper. He couldn't handle this, it was a living nightmare to think he was a father at eighteen. Randomly, he felt the urge to ask, "do you know anywhere I can take a walk in Serbia? I have no idea where I am. I settled here after Theo's wedding and haven't moved since". not that it mattered.

"I guess I should learn, in case my kid ever wants to go to Serbia." he shrugged, hiding his face in his hands. Looking after a child, he didn't even know if it was a boy or a girl. He didn't know when a doctor could tell. This wasn't just some woman he'd met at a disco, this was the Princess of Greece. She was pregnant with an heir to Greece, his heir to Greece. It was too difficult to think about. His sanity felt remote.

[beau]

'' take your past and burn it up and let
'' it go , c a r r y on i'm s t r o n g e r than you'll ever know

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[/center]

Beau felt bad for Starr, he had no idea what Starr was going through but he did want to help his friend. Instead of answering, Beau just watched Starr. "No, not what I meant. I meant, that if I girl were here, they'd probably yell at you for something that was out of your control." Beau replied calmly even though Starr had snapped at him. He hadn't meant that Starr couldn't be friends with girls without making them his girlfriend. "Obviously or else I think we'd have quite a bit of a problem with a Russian prince who's girlfriend you're friends with, a French princess who would not like you putting the moves on his little sister, an Irish Prince who wouldn't like you taking his best friend and older sister, of course Aetos wouldn't like you taking Julianna... not to mention I don't think any of your friends that are girls would like you going after all of them when most of them are friends also." He tried to joke.

Shaking his head, Beau got up and dropped his bag. "Come one, we'll go for a walk down the street and around the corner. There is a park we can walk around." Beau had never been to Serbia before in his life, but he had studied the map of the town Starr was staying in and saw the park from his cab ride. "That is not healthy, maybe you and Marie should have talked over the summer." Of course, Beau didn't really mean anything by it, but maybe Marie and Starr talking to each other would work. They both went through a bad break up and could probably talk to each other about it seeing as the both were obviously very hurt by it, though Beau knew that he would be too.

"Listen, the kid isn't born yet. Just focus on right now for a little bit, try and get back on your feet. If Alex has a fit about it then that's her fault. She needs to learn to let you deal with it on your own time. And if you have no intention of getting back together with her, I suggest you let her know that too instead of giving her hope that you two will eventually get back together." Beau sighed and knew that his friend was in fora long, hard, next nine or less months. He silently prayed that Starr came through that nine months without losing his sanity.

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tagged: Starr
word count: four hundred and fourteen
notes: Beau to the rescue?
outfit: click !
lyrics: ...to be loved - papa roach !
credit:NOTHING_PERSONAL @ CAUTION !

[/size]

[shideh4]

Starr watched his friend drop his bag, an indication that he wasn't going anywhere. Well, he'd be there a while then, since Starr wasn't ready to leave Serbia yet. He stood up and walked over to his mirror, he looked like he'd aged a ton since he got there. His face was filled with worry lines, his eyes had deep purple patches underneath from lack of sleep. His hair was unkempt and his mouth looked dry. Even if he was the kind of guy that made every girl his girlfriend, he certainly couldn't do it in the state he was in now. His reflection looked unreal to him, it was a Starr that he'd never seen in the mirror before. "I can't change what happened." Starr groaned, putting his hands over his face "but i really wish I could." he really didn't know what to do.

"I know I'm only having one kid but it feels like I'm having forty. Every decision I make, every move I take, in eighteen years I'll be judged on it." he was taking this pregnancy so seriously, it ate him up inside. He didn't think he could ever be intimate with someone again, not in a sexual sense, after this child is born. He wanted to know whether it was a boy or a girl, whether it'll be born healthy, what names has Lexi decided on? At the same time, he wanted to change countries just to avoid the anticipation. He continued to watch himself in the mirror, trying to read the blank expression on his own face. As if his feelings would hit him straight in the face.

"Alex is having enough of a cow as it is. I don't want to give her anything else to worry about." Starr defended, hardly able to picture Lexi having 'a fit' about anything. In fact she was handling this a lot better than Starr was. Starr hadn't even told his mother, though Lexi had let her family know. It was perhaps best to go home at some point, enjoy time with his mother, sleep in his own as he hadn't done all Summer. "You know what Beau, could you just take me home? I miss Greece and I think I need to talk to my mother." he told his friend, trying to formulate exactly what he planned to say to her. His mother had contacted him recently anyway, hoping to get the chance to stock him up with food for university. The idea of Starr living off stir fry scared the wits out of her.

[beau]

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

Beau nodded his head silently and looked at Starr, who didn’t look like himself. Though granted, he was allowed to look like that. No teenage boy in their right mind would be ecstatic about getting their best friend pregnant and not loving them as more than a friend. Beau knew now that his little crush on his own royal earlier in the year could have gotten him in the same predicament as Starr, only he may have been even worse off as he was falling for Marie’s best friend. Actually, Beau knew that if he had gotten Marie pregnant and started having feelings for Frida, he didn’t know if Frida would have even given him a chance.

“Well… if it was forty kids I would be very scared. Forty little Astarpio and Alexandra’s would be scary… no offence.” he said trying to get Starr to at least smile though he knew it wouldn’t happen, he still had to try. “Starr, yes decisions about the baby will be important, but you have to calm down. You won’t make any good decisions if you’re too scared and anxious about it.” He told the Greek servant quietly. “I honestly can’t imagine what you’re going through, but I have a feeling you’ll get through it. Maybe once everything settles down you’ll find someone who can help you take you’re mind off of all the bad and help you focus on the good.”

Shrugging his shoulders, Beau listened to Starr and nodded his head. “Sure,” he said while picking up his bag, “let’s go get you checked out and get to the airport. We’ll get you to Greece and me to Iceland.” Beau said with a smile and pat his friend on the back. “I’m sure you’re mother is worried sick about you and I’m sure she’ll want to talk to you as much as she can about everything that’s going on. I know my mother would anyway.” Beau loved his mother, she was one of his best friends. He knew that his mother would probably be the one person who he would have gone to had he been in Starr’s shoes, and just from how Starr talked about his mother, Beau guessed that Starr was close with his mother also.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

Tag: Starr

[/b]
Word Count:[/color] three hundred and seventy-six
Outfit: click[/b][/i]
Notes:[/i] sorry it's so short ):
Credits: Lyrics: Secondhand Serenade
Template: Liz! [/i][/color][/font][/blockquote][/blockquote][/center][/size]